awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
