Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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