Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
