She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
be right there i have to get my cape
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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