My liver just broke up with me...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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