Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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