hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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