he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize