there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
