It's Friday. Sex?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
