hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I need to align my fucking chakras
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
