i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
