You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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