Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize