Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
