The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
