Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Panties = found
Randomize
