that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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