I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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