kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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