You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
