The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
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Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
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Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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