Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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