the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
