Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
