I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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