how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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