Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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