I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My penis needs a shock collar
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
