So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
