the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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