party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize