Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
