it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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