we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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