Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
