tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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