Screwed.edu
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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