I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize