exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
