He just called me juicy booty via text message.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
