no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
