thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
