I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
