The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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