sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Randomize
