there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
