The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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