We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
nutella sex= disaster
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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