Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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