You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
