I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
