Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
