I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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