Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
