Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
