Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
