Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
