i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
