Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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