First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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