he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
