just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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