he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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