so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
