You work out of a Hotel?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize