Im at strip club and am horny
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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